I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize