belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
