My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize