Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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