I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
