Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
