She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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