the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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