My cat gives me a boner
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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