thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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