Pappa wants mamma naked
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
