If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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