what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
