I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
