Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
