i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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