just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
