Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
