So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
