Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
