maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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