dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize