it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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