I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
