She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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