I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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