are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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