hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
