wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
