it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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