so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize