I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
