no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
