the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
