Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
