nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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