I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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