please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
