Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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