Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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