Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
