I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
