Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
