Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
