You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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