I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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