I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
