just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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