The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
