Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
