My nipple is on Facebook.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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