I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
