I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
