Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
