omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
