Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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