fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
