Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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