So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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